Friday, 15 June 2012

Critical Thinking and the Customer, That's You!

Critical Thinking, it's easy peasey? The battle is not over when you have won. Can you spell?

Do you know what irks me? It’s how we the customer, that’s you and me are treated by the big worldwide companies. And I could list many, in fact all of them.  Do you know why that is? Well, think about it for a few seconds, minutes, weeks and months and a few “phunking” years if you like. Are you ready for the reasons, or have I got what I am about say and to reveal to the unlighted world, wrong? Are you ready because we could have less than a split second before, it’s too late? Operation has commenced. This is not a test. Repeat this is not a test. This is for real.

You can call me Dan, if you like. It doesn't matter because tomorrow never comes. I could list hundreds from my own experience and I know the rest would fall into the same list, but I haven't got the time, or the paper. Neither have, nor the finance, to defend lengthy court cases, whether in this or that country. In fact, I don't care. Do you know why I don't give a monkeys, it’s because I am a Londoner and I love London town, and also I am a comedian.

But, what they realise, those dreadful sensors, whoever they are and whatever they're wearing, they know I speak the truth. And, when the truth has been hidden for so long, it’s time to say “phunk” you, and listen, because you are about to become second rate companies living of the dole, with no future but a very good joke. We all like to laugh, especially at your expense, and now is the time, I couldn't keep my mouth shut any longer, and I have been trained to keep it shut when I was a super salesman. But, I have had enough, I had to go to the doctors recently, and do you know what he said to me, well, he said” stop taking those painkillers” and I said, I couldn't because I haven't stopped laughing since they invented customer service? That was how many years ago? You work it out.

Do these companies and I mean all of the above that is 99.98% of the biggest and smallest businesses in the world, almost the “phunking” lot. It doesn't matter what language or country, the whole cake without the icing, because the cream are excellent, we will talk about them later, they are special.. We will not talk about them, but let’s get back to the story, and it is a story of total “phunk ups” by idiots with PHD’s and other assorted bollocks and all the rest of the hanger-ons who don't know their arse from their elbows, and I can prove it. That’s why the last time someone tried and they squirmed around for about 5 years with this and that. But, you know I wasn't a bit worried, it made me laugh, right from the word go, sure they made it drag on, but these insurance companies, spivs, lawyers with no brains, and other assorted lemons  and their stupid lawyers will try every low down trick they can think off. But, to me they are just the icing on the cake, I love it; I mentioned those before didn't I. Well these morons are even more stupid to think I don't know what I am doing. When a commander goes to war he or she whichever takes your fancy makes a plan, need I say more. You work it out.

I could bust these companies in minutes if this information goes national, worldwide, but I don't believe that will happen, they will just do all the nasty stuff, any dirty trick they can think of. And even kill me, and blame it on some guy that climbed into an inescapable body bag just because he couldn't get it up. But you see they could say that one, because every girl I have “phunked” will tell you they had no problems, so that scheme is out of the water, for a start, next. You work it out. And you know I expect them, because they are dumb. They have more chance of winning the lottery tomorrow than gaining intelligence. What do you expect from idiots? 

Now is the time, now is the time, come on come on, what you waiting for. Most people should know themselves anyway, all I am doing is asking these companies to [WAKE UP< before it’s too late.  I just hope you go away and ask one simple question to every employee in the work force {I could win the lottery in a second, but spend a lifetime finding a cure for cancer, which is more rewarding? If you need the answer from me, then I suggest you fire yourself, because all you are doing is prolonging our extinction of our race with your stupid genes. Secondly start hiring people who can think without being stupid. Quite simple really. First rule of business, read my every page on this blog and then write me a 400 word essay about why you employ stupid people, or just blame the other person a guy or a gal, it doesn't matter to me if she has long curly hair and looks like a women, but actually when you get down there it’s completely the opposite, if you know what I mean?

Now is the time, now is the time, come on, oh I forgot to mention, you can contact me quite easily by phone , by email and of you, are welcome to book an appointment with me, provided I can spare the time, and also you pay me for the time wasted talking to you. In the meantime, before you leap anywhere, I would suggest you shut the “phunk” up and listen.

I don't like repeating myself, because my grandfather and father taught me one special thing right from the word go, and do you know what that was, well I will be kind to you dumb “phunks,” whoever you are, and tell you what both my grandfather and my father said to me. “Always do the right thing, because it takes less energy” need I say more. Probably because you just don't believe me, well I suggest you try fixing your problems before you become the jokes of the world. Me, I have been laughing ever since I started to use these services. Like I said the shit you have to use. You know the total crap we pay for, and then your customer service which we pay for, because your profits come from us the fools who have to put up with your failure, because you employ people who think they are smart, and I can almost guarantee that, but they are not, and they don't realise it, yet, but when this information filters around the globe you the smartest guys and girls will unfortunately be no longer envied, but laughed at, because you are some of the dumbest dobbies that ever got born. And do you know why I take painkillers, and I am thinking of launching a class action case against you, because of the cost to me of painkillers, not to mention the transport to and throw to the pharmacy, but I could make it cheaper for you by having the painkillers posted to me at your cost? Besides I like joke, it makes the day pass well, and you know why I haven't released this information before, and most of it goes back a long “phunking” long time in some cases, the likes of Microsoft? Since the day they became popular, but like I said before in another article, just because something or someone is popular, it doesn't mean they are the best. You work it out. By now and when all the grannies of the world and their offspring read this document it will be too late, because tomorrow never comes. You work it out.

I said, I was a comedian, but like all stories there’s always some truth in any legend, well unfortunately for us, the dear worn down consumer, will at least have the benefit of seeing one of the biggest companies, who think they are smart, which  I can almost guarantee, remember the ones that can't spell God. It makes me laugh every time I think of it. Boy oh boy are they stupid, in fact I hope someone sinks them into dust and quick, because if God ever finds out, there will be no time left for us, because of the laughter. See you in court, try me you assholes. I just love free money because the publicity will drive my books into the stratosphere while my bank manager starts living in Barbados, me I prefer slightly hotter climates, but they are not and it’s easy to prove.

In fact, the joke is revenge for the awful treatment you the big assholes of the world, have given us the poor trodden down customer, the very people who feed you dip shits, and the other fakers you employ, come on you know who you are?

Don't fake it, live it for real you dip shits.

I can’t wait for all the added attention a court case will attract for my book, it should give me a good little banker bonus, you know those smartest lipstick and prick stick fellows who run the money in this “phunked” up world. Those same shit heads, who think they are the smartest guys and girls in town, which is almost guaranteed, but unfortunately there’s an old saying which applies to everything you see right now, yes your reality, because without it you don’t exist, you are just star dust n vacuum cleaner of a “phunk” up world caused by these morons who think they are smart, but are the biggest load of automatons, and I call them automatons because they are just like computers – thick as two short planks nailed together for firewood  The short version for you dumb “phunks” is dumb and dumber.

Ha ha. You “phunk” up, you have singly fostered a new race or species; the dumb “phunks.

You see, if [you] understand what I am on about from the word go, and I mean the short time your brain has had anything to do while reading this article, but knowing your race you will continue breeding and the homo sapiens will be replaced in x amount of time, maybe even 7 seconds. You when someone pushes the button because, tomorrow never comes, you upper class misfits and the general people who think they are smart, which I can almost guarantee, they think they are, but, they haven't made it to the locker yet. 

Thanks for that, because if I had my way and I love life and also you dumb “phunks” and everyone else which is the whole world, but they are plenty of animals that live in sheep's clothing who we wouldn't miss except for the laughter of how stupid they were. Yes folks the truth is never hidden for long, it appears and a new dawn begins after that everyone in the world will not stop laughing at you and your so called businesses which we fund. Do you get it, yet?

Which is it, come on, come on?

Don’t cheat and then lie, because you are only cheating yourself, if you don't know something, isn't better to ask someone, because if you don’t you could find yourself on a new journey millions of light years away as new stardust. Take comfort though because you will not be alone, in fact most of you and your families will be heading that way soon.

I love it when a plan comes together. I was always told never go to war before you know when to retreat and regroup. Do you know why? Well, I could tell you, but you better ask your generals because if they don’t know, ask them why you never put the general in the front line?

There's an old saying "never judge a book's cover,” especially if it comes from dumb “phunks” incorporates.

Need I say more. This is Bravo two nine, bluebird calling, operation is terminal, going in, no choice, we are about to see a total 0.

P.S. I speak several languages including French. But I think differently.

P.S. Sponsored by Madbrokes a comedian on antidepressants.


In my latest book “It’s Never Too Late” read how dreams do come true, but be careful what you wish for. Understand the secret of greed and you will attain one of the secrets of prosperity. The book will also take you on a journey and explores love, money, luck, and much more.


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