Sunday, 17 June 2012

Some of the rules need changing fast!

P.S. I am a Vodafone Mug, you know as soon as you become a customer, and so far they are so stupid it beggars belief, because even they laugh! The beggars are stupid! My doctor says, that I have Vodafone fever, you get it as soon as you become a customer, he said, you have also added complications of customer-itis. I do hope I have spelled this correctly because I can't rely on the shit software and I am too lazy to invent it, which I didn't know how common it was, but it has only been several nightmares and several taxis just to get the "phunk" technology to work combined with the other "num phunks" who call themself idiots because there is no better word for it.

Who wrote the manual for their “num phunk” company. When I tell this joke on the stage and on the TV in New York they are going to laugh all around the world, because these morons, and I will save that knowledge to my head where it is stored, and by the way \\ I always go to war with a plan, because I am the commander, people take orders, because I give them, but unfortunately I only speak 4 languages not including English. 

They sent me a hand-book their so-called manual of how to use the iPhone 4s, well you never guess what they { those Apple heads somewhere who the hells knows where, "num phucks” brainless and gormless company of Apple heads who think they are so smart they thought everyone has the eyesight of a possible six year old, not me I am an old rooster and neither a 29 nine year old friend who couldn't read the manual because the text is so small you either need to supply every customer with a hand-held magnifier or  something, you work it out you “num phucks.}" they didn't think, see you in court you bunch of worthless shit-holes on a show for brains. If you were working for me, well you wouldn't be, because I only ask one question to my employees. And do you want to know the answer; you dumb “phunks,” well read this? You can well, that's useful for you, but what about the rest of us. Have you woken up yet, probably not but someone is responsible for sending a contract with the Vodafone company that sends the manuals in "Greek." Well I couldn't read them you morons for brains idiots, “num phunks,” “phuck” you and your sister, because we decided by mutual consensus because we don't want any complaints, but we never get any. You just as well print your manuals in Swahili or Greek or non-English, but it wouldn't make any difference because if you can't read it even with reading glasses and perfect vision you need to supply at least an appropriate magnified glass, do you get it yet, well when you do, you can get round to compensating me with the cost of your failure to supply and the obligation of any company worth anything, and that is customer service, we don't all wear the same shoes or have the same vision of a 6 year-old, you morons with big Apple heads from Harvard etc.

You see we are customer service, we never complain, we are always right; it’s you the customer the ones who feed us, that's it, not our fault we only follow orders from above. I guess the assholes that parade around in suits think they are smart?

Well, here goes!

Who wrote the manual, and don't say someone else, because how do you know, can you read it, no, because I estimate around 1/2 of the population of this world would not be able to read it. So I ask again, because the boys in blue, black, red, and orange have some plans, and it goes like this. When you can't read the manual, what fucking good is the iPhone without instructions to read, I hope you're reading this, because you will be soon out of a job, full-stop!  See you in a court near you or me, which is it, come on, and come on?

What wordless shit for brains person decided we all have the same eyesight as A SIX year-old? 

P.S. Sponsored by Madbrokes a comedian on antidepressants.


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